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“Hey, Roomie!” My Unintentional Adventure in Online Crime Research

Greetings, fellow wordsmiths and fellow explorers of the digital realm! Today, I’ve got a tale that’s bound to make you laugh and possibly make you rethink your online research practices. You see, I’ve been knee-deep in the shadowy world of crime investigation while working on my upcoming psychological thriller, “Hey, Roomie!” And believe me, it’s been quite the adventure – complete with some heart-pounding moments.

Before we dive in, let’s clarify that this post is in no way sponsored, and I won’t be recommending any specific VPN services. Your choice of VPN is entirely up to you, so exercise your discretion.

Now, let me take you on a humorous journey through my mishaps and misadventures as I repeatedly forgot to use a VPN while immersing myself in the darker aspects of criminal research.

Picture this: I’m tucked away in my dimly lit writing room, with about 18 open tabs between Firefox and Chrome filled with information from police procedural manuals, varying aspects of the law and judicial process, and other things I won’t list here so as not to give away any of the plot of the novel I’m writing. My mission? To make my novel as authentic as humanly possible. So, I embark on a deep dive into the psyche of criminals. And boy, did I go down the rabbit hole!

As I’m surfing the web, I stumble upon some seriously questionable websites. I’m talking forums with folks discussing the most bizarre and sinister criminal activities, how-to for the making of certain ‘specialized’ items, and there I am, reading every word with bated breath. Did I mention that I completely forgot to activate my VPN for this adventure?

Days turn into weeks, and my research gets deeper and darker. I’m reading about unsolved mysteries, chilling disappearances, and all the stuff that nightmares are made of. But here’s the kicker: I start to imagine the FBI breaking down my door any second. I’m convinced they’re monitoring my every click, thinking I’m some sort of criminal mastermind.

I even come up with an absurd plan for when they do show up – I’ll offer them coffee and a slice of whatever the pastry-of-the-week is,  and calmly explain, “I’m just writing a novel! I swear!”

My paranoia reaches its peak when I stumble upon a website containing information that would make the Anarchist’s Cookbook (if you even remember that from back in the day) look like a child’s bedtime story. I start scrolling, unable to resist the allure of such forbidden knowledge. That’s when I hear a car door slam outside my house. My heart races as I peek through the blinds, fully expecting to see agents in black suits and sunglasses.

As I fumble to close the incriminating browser tabs, I hear a voice yell, “Doordash!” My stomach drops, and I race to the door, only to find a cheerful delivery guy holding up a large paper bag by its rope handle. I let out a nervous laugh, thank him, and mutter to myself, “Well, that was close.”

Now, as I reflect on my adventures in the world of online crime research, I can’t help but chuckle at my own forgetfulness and paranoia. It’s been a rollercoaster ride, but it’s also been incredibly enlightening.

I’ve learned to use a VPN consistently to protect my digital privacy and sanity. And, as for “Hey, Roomie!” – well, I hope to release it in a few months, once I’ve successfully navigated the treacherous waters of online research without triggering any alarm bells at the FBI.

So, fellow writers and thrill-seekers, remember this cautionary tale: Always use a VPN when delving into the dark corners of the internet for your research. It might just save you from a very awkward conversation with the authorities. Happy writing, everyone!